Cheapskate Gringo

From '70 until '74 I worked based in a jungle town in Peru, Iquitos.

The town had been a rubber boom town during the early 1900s, and still bore some of the marks of splendor from that time, albeit a bit run down.

There was a mini-boom there that lasted 3 or 4 years, during which there were about a dozen seismic crews, plus 3 or so big rigs running out of Iquitos.

Needless to say, when the big-riggers hit town the price of shoe shines and whores went through the overhead, but they were still cheap by world standards.

Prior to that, the town had lived on a little trickle of adventurous tourists, and a little rubber production. Needless to say, the street urchins had developed ways to make a few cents. The youngest of them were about 5 or 6, and went around to the sidewalk cafes selling necklaces made of nuts from the local trees, and other such stuff.

The ex-pats had a cafe where we all hung out and the shoe-shine boys and necklace vendors were thick. One little necklace boy got to be sort of the mascot of the ex-pats.

One of the big-riggers taught him to say "Cheapskate Gringo !" in English.

He'd wink at the kid, and the kid would sound off. He got pretty good with saying the phrase, and the stage was set.

One day a mud peddler or some such came up and sat down with the perp.

The necklace boy walked up, offering his wares. The guy told him to go away, and the perp winked at the kid, who promptly looked at the guy and sounded off.

Needless to say the gringo said "WHAT ?" and stood up so fast he knocked his chair over.

The kid didn't know what he'd said, but he knew the guy was pissed, so he took off running, with the gringo in hot pursuit.

Needless to say, the kid was frightened, fleet of foot, and knew every street, alley, and pothole in the town. The gringo was fat, 40, drank like a drain, and smoked like a chimney.

I remarked to the others, as they disappeared around the corner, " He'll never catch that kid. He'll be back soon."

Sure enough he soon came staggering back, coughing and wheezing, scarlet of face and still pissed off. The rest of us laughing at him didn't help his mood much, I don't think.